I have been tossing around the idea of starting another blog for a few months now. I've had a couple in the past. Nothing fancy or even all that interesting. In fact, I mostly just wrote about my kids. But while I am still and always will be a mom, lately I find myself needing something for me. That doesn't mean I won't write about being a mom. I definitely will. It is THE hardest thing I've ever done and I'm sure it's the hardest thing I will *ever do. It will be a topic here, I'm sure.
But I am hoping this blog will maybe help me find *ME* somehow. Ever since I was very young...ever since I can remember...I have wanted to be a mom. Other than wanting to be a teacher when I was in elementary school, a mom is all I ever wanted to be. And now I am. I have been for a bit over a decade. It is "all" I am. Sometimes...a lot of times...I don't feel like that is enough. Surely if that were all I were meant to do on this earth, I would be better at it, right? I wouldn't feel like there is something I'm supposed to be doing that I'm not.
Or maybe it's just that I don't know who I am besides a mom. Take away my kids and what am I? Nothing. That's what it feels like anyway. I know others see value in me as a person and not just a mom, but usually I don't. I had my kids pretty young. Now I am in my early 30's and feeling like I missed something. I hate feeling like that, but I can't deny it. I wouldn't trade my kids for anything. But I think I owe them more.
So anyway....it has been awhile since I used Blogger and it is way different than it used to be. Don't expect anything fancy here. Actually, I don't really expect anyone to read this except me. This is mostly for me. Maybe it will help me sleep better at night if I can get some things out of my head and "put" somewhere.
